Getting Out of A Ticket

Getting Out of A Ticket

A man in his 40's bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a BMW," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What the hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.
"It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go." The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back." "Have a nice weekend," said the officer.

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To Absent Brothers

To Absent Brothers
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender says to him, 'You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time.' The Irishman replies, 'Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we all drank together. 'The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way: he orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, 'I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss.' The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a lights dawns in his eye and he laughs. 'Oh, no, ' he says, 'Everyone is fine. I've just quit drinking!

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Monkey

Monkey

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
The guy says "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table-whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.
"Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.
"No, what?" replies the guy. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. " He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first...

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CHAPTER I: Ambush AN ARMY OF UNKNOWN

CHAPTER I: Ambush AN ARMY OF UNKNOWN

20 YEARS LATER

In a Teutonic tribe village, there lived a young man named Vale, he was an orphan, he lived with his grandfather at the palace, his grandfather was a very famous Teutonic Chief, Chief of Venus. Vale is a very strong young man, very perfect stature, big tall with prominent muscle in her arms and legs. He also mastered the ability to fight on a horse with a very good, therefore, he became a knight of the Teutonic Knight's class at his grandfather's village. He oversees 100 000 clubswingers, 50,000 spearmen, axemen 250,000, 75,000 paladin, and 150,000 Teutonic Knight. In performing its duties, he assisted two people trust, Tyranus and Vulcano. They also come from the Teutonic Knight class. Under the control of Vale, the peace village are well preserved.
Until one night, a big voice that shook the earth,
'BRAKK' fences that protect the land of the village collapsed. About 200 large elephant followed by thousands of horsemen coming. They are really scary, they dress in black, red hair, and very tall stature. Strength them difficult to surpass, even by the Teutonic knights armed to the teeth though. Vale as a squad leader immediately gather the troops and immediately conduct the war. 'Keep our Village, Tebas until they run out, leaving a bit Jagan!' Troops were soon advanced to the center of the village that became a battlefield. In an instant the atmosphere of a quiet night by the whistling bullets solved friction catapults and swords clashing. Teuton troops really have to work hard to face this unknown enemy attacks, especially against the troop rode a really strong axes and stunning, a hatchet troops riding is capable of 8 to 10 troops massacred Teutons. Vale aware of the situation increasingly desperate, so he immediately gave orders

'Move the Chief to a safe place! Hide him to another village or a safe place anywhere! Hurry up! "


Volcano then immediately take 50 Teutonic Knights, 100 Spearmen and 50 Paladin to go to the palace and carried off Chief of Venus.
The fight continues, Tyranus and Vale who are childhood friends really is very compact, combination swing their swords are really great, almost no slotted, each time the Vale in danger, Tyranus was always ready to resist attack. But toughness Vale and Tyranus is not much help, the Teutonic Knights continue to experience difficulties, this unknown force is really violent, even though the Knights have been trained to target the enemy's neck, this time a very different enemy, a large body stature makes it difficult battle. But they do not give up and keep fighting!

Switch to Vulcano, after negotiations, Vulcano and Chief Venus finally agreed to go into hiding in a remote little village in the west. Although remote, this village has been developed previously.

'We're headed in the west village, and we will arrive in about 30min. Please all the troops on guard duty to protect the Chief 'commands Volcano

The journey was begun, in the first trip went well. But when going into a village ..

to be continued......................

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THE HALF BLOOD HERO

THE HALF BLOOD HERO


Prologue


Major war engulfing the world. Three tribes in the world, namely the Roman, Teutonic, and Gallic tribes are fighting to destroy that brought destruction of the world, the tribe that always brings a sense of fear wherever they are, even heard the name alone, was able to make balls shrunken army, that Natar. Natar troops was so amazing, they are stronger than the Roman, faster than the Teutons, and more clever than Gallic. This makes the war very difficult to be terminated immediately. Countless numbers of troops who became casualties of war. Both of the Romans, Teutons and Gauls as well as from the Natar.

The battle had reached the peak, the 16 villages that help Natar been successfully destroyed. And now, the only remaining Capital and Capital Natar joint force based in the Roman village. Early morning, the Romans, Gauls and Teutons began to move closer to the Village Natar, distance far enough to make them requires time and enough energy to reach the Capital Natar. They choose the path that much, so they can attack from the back door Natar village, this part of the village are less guarded. Therefore, the arrival of troops Natar joint forces do not realize this. When dawn came, Combined Roman, Teutonic, and Gallic move directly invade the Capital Natar.
Bloody war can not be avoided. This battle lasted for 3 days without stopping. Until finally Lucius, Natar Emperor died at the hands of Calvin, the General Roman. The death of Emperor make Natar troops into chaos, making it easy for troops Gauls and Teutons to kill them. All Natar troops were killed, the Capital Natar razed, and since then, History on Natar lost as the earth swallowed up, never again sounded the existence of the tribe Natar. The world into peace, no more terror or the threat of war. But no one knows, that Lucius has a child of unknown whereabouts.

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